dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize