But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
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Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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