I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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