it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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