So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
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Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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