ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  just survived the first fart of the relationship.

  Fav 15 4380 1156

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

  Fav 35 5551 1119

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.

  Fav 11 6090 1540

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

  Fav 7 3964 1257

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .

  Fav 1 2235 1343

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

  Fav 10 3556 1169

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.

  Fav 2 1180 661

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.

  Fav 1 573 870

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

  Fav 6 532 631

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

  Fav 6 1288 534

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

  Fav 0 682 519

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.

  (512): View more from Texas

  And loving it.

  Fav 1 856 485

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.

  Fav 0 536 351

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything

  Fav 2 312 168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine

  Fav 3 10 75

  share tweet
  

Randomize