jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.