I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
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im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.