I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
