She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
