I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis