Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i'm high and self actualising, please send help