You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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