Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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