She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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