Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
