im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
