can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
