when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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