woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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