a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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