I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
