it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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