I just pynch a tree in the face
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize