it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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