there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
