After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
