you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
