now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
