Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
one might say we're banned from that church
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
