So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
