nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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