Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He shit in the fireplace
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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