I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
