how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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