"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
