He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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