The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
do herpes really smell.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
