So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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