Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
