I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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