Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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