I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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