That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
