16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I FOUND THE LEGS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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