I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
