we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i will never coherently bang her
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
