Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
