party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
