Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
