O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
