I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
