he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
