i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
