Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
