Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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