my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
