She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am full of burrito and curiosity
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
