just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize