I am spending my child support on dildos
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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