Since when is my name a synonym for head?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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